God's People Must Be United and Growing in Holiness
1 Corinthians 7:1-16[1]
As preached at Rolling Hills Church on Sunday, March 4th, 2012
Under Roman law and customs in A.D. 54, marriage was a mess. There were four types of marriages that people were familiar with there…
1. Contubernium. This was a marriage between slaves who were considered to be sub-human. It was allowed, but the owner could sell either slave and separate them at any time.
2. Usus. This was a recognized common law marriage in which a couple had lived together for over a year.
3. Coemptio in manum. Where a father sells his daughter to a man.
4. Confarreatio. This was the more elevated marriage experienced by the Patrician class or nobility of Rome. Our modern Christian wedding ceremony – even down to a wedding cake – is largely based on this ceremony, which the Catholic Church adopted from Rome (with some Christian modifications)[2].
In the church in Corinth it was likely that you had all four kinds of messy marriage situations among the Gentiles, and probably some divorces among the handful of Jewish believers as well. With so many crazy situations with marriage (not uncommon for someone to have been married over 10 times), they were wise to ask Paul what to do. THAT was the situation concerning marriage Paul was addressing in 1 Corinthians 7. He wrote to equip the church with God's wisdom for marriage. Even moreso, he is explaining what it means to be devoted to Christ – married or single. Let me show you that in verse 35 of chapter 7 here… "I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
Marriage should not be a hindrance to being devoted to Christ; neither should being single. Having said that, the Corinthian church, - and Rolling Hills Church as well – must learn how to be devoted to and glorify Christ in our present situation, OK? Here is the text.
1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman."
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.
7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.
9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband
11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.
13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Let us pray.
Here is the message from this text: We are called to be devoted to Christ, whether married or single. In order to do so, we must obey God's instructions for marriage.
Paul's instructions for marriage
1. You are to fulfill your sexual obligations to your spouse in your marriage, 7:1-6. Apparently some in Corinth had heard that sex was dirty (associated with Gnosticism or reaction to idolatrous sex?), and had decided to abstain in order to glorify God. This does not glorify the God who created us to enjoy this union in marriage. When you marry before God you are giving up rights to your body; hers is his, and his is hers. Men and women, this is God's plan for sexual fulfillment and beautiful one-ness in marriage; do not withhold yourself from your spouse unless you have mutually agreed in order to fast and pray. If there are problems or issues – be they emotional, spiritual, or physical – prioritize and deal with them. Go talk to a godly man or woman in the church. If it is physical, go to the doctor. You belong to your spouse; fulfill your God-given obligation.
2. If you can be devoted to Christ as a single person, that is great. If you cannot, you are instructed to marry. 7:7-9. Singleness is a gift. There are kingdom benefits to being single! You can live on less money, devote more time and energy, travel extensively, enjoy flexibility, serve others in numerous ways, etc. You must be wise to be above reproach, but so must we all. Know that it is a gift that not everyone has. If you can do this and not be constantly distracted by your God-given desires – do it! But if you can't, you should find a godly person and get married. That isn't sin. Either way, the goal is to be devoted to Christ.
3. Married believers are to stay married; if they divorce for any reason, they are to remain celibate for life, 7:10-11. When two believers get married or if a couple turns from sin to faith in Christ, they are to remain married for life. Otherwise you will commit adultery. We have way too many cheap reasons for divorce these days, and the church is set apart from such folly. Whatever you fight you are to fight together. Unfaithfulness is the one reason believers are allowed to get divorced, and even then it's not best – forgiveness and restoration is! Folks, here we have Paul's simple command to fight for your marriage; stay together.
4. Do not divorce an unbelieving spouse, 7:12-14. So if you become a believer while married to an unbeliever, you are not given an automatic out. Stay, love, serve, and be a good husband or wife. Let your witness be a witness, and let that spouse enjoy being in a "set-apart" home. Not saved, but set apart. Will it be tough? Often it is; we are instructed in the last chapter not to marry unbelievers, church. Many think they will evangelize their boyfriend or girlfriend, but it simply is not God's plan. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? But if you wind up that way, Paul says, then stay.
5. If an unbelieving spouse divorces a believer, the believer is free to remarry, 7:15-16. So if the unbelieving spouse decides THEY can't live with a Christian and desserts the marriage, you are not bound, Paul says, to stay married to that person.
Here is what I hope you will take this away from this message…
Christ is our first love. All other relationships should be subject to that one. If you are devoted to Christ, either married or single, you are not your own. He is first. That dictates every decision about marriage; Christ is our Lord and He purchased us on that cross with His own blood.
Stay single or marry well and stay married. If you are to remain devoted to Christ, then you must marry well; wisely, for compatibility, and for life. Don't compromise faith in Christ to have that certain one; don't rush blindly into it; but if you know you have the one... why wait?
When you marry, make sure you understand God's original plan: "Gen 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
There is grace but there are no excuses or justification.
I want to leave us with grace in this area; I know there are many sitting here who have not lived by this wisdom of God's. Most of you made decisions before you were converted to faith in Christ. If that is the case, then know that you are under no condemnation.
Others ignored God's instructions while a son or daughter of God, and will feel a godly remorse for your sin, and a deep regret that you can't undo what is done. To you there is grace, but as Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery – go, and sin no more.
Still more will hear this and become defensive, and justify for your sin. I plead with you to humble yourself before God; His Word of God stands over us all, and we should humble ourselves in repentance before this loving but holy God.
We are not to live as those who reject faith in Christ live. We are called to be devoted to Christ, whether married or single. In order to do so, we must obey God's instructions for marriage.
[1] All Scriptures, unless otherwise noted, are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, (via E-Sword Software) © 2001 Crossway Publishing. All Rights Reserved. I paste them in red for distinction.
[2] As provided by The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: 1 Corinthians, by John F. MacArthur. Copyright © 1984 by The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago. Published by Moody Press, Chicago. All Rights Reserved.
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